I'm writing this from Piemonte, Italy, while enjoying the show the clouds have decided to give me today.
Although peaceful now, I wasn't this night. A disturbing dream penetrated consciousness, causing me to wake up in fear. In the dream, the dream character was disturbed by a powerful voice. A voice well-known, both feared and adored. It spoke of a purpose transcending all others: That of being an Archangel, a word unknown to me before the dream. A purpose of walking the earth, connecting the physical realm with another one.
“What realm?” The dream character asked. “The realm in which the gods and devas reside” it said. “The imaginal realm”. Something shifted in that moment, for the dream character now had acces to a realm that has seemingly always been there and yet was overlooked. A realm so sensual that it felt to good to be true. In retrospect, I'm not sure whether it was a dream or waking reality. Which does not seem to matter as much anymore nowadays.
I remember talks by Buddhist teacher Rob Burbea of the imaginal and of Eros Unfettered. It sounded both strange and intriguing to me then. He talked about erotic experiences with imagined beings, greatly distressing some members of the sangha (spiritual group) I was part of back then. For there was no room for desire in the techniques that we were practicing. On the contrary, desire gave rise to suffering and to get rid of suffering entirely was the, quite ironically, desired end result.
I also remembered that when I was 18 or so, a book guided me towards imagining a hiding zone in consciousness, from which I could escape the negative thoughts and feelings I sometimes had. Although a fantasy, I noticed back then how it affected my well-being when I resided there, albeit temporarily. And I didn't want temporary. I wanted peace all the time, which brought me to meditation. Being with whatever arises, seeing through the appearances of Mara, self-identity included.
All kinds of images arose, but all where seen through by the sharp eye of awareness and neglected for not being real. After years of surrendering, feeling, and opening up, what was left was just this. This simple experience in this moment, without a felt experiencer, as close to real as it could possibly get. Which is heartfelt and pure, intimate and warm at the same time. Simple but extraordinary.
Now though, a new perceptual door has opened, which infuses the felt simple physical reality with non-physical divinity. The real mixed with the imaginal. In the world, but not of it. And whereas before the sharp eye of awareness would quickly neglect this experience as delusion, now it realizes that the opposite is true. That this ancient presence has been there all along, shielded off by subtle delusion.
Although vastly different, it is intertwined with the sensory human experience I was so accustomed to. A simple touch with the infinite sensuality of the imaginal becomes sacred in essence. It pervades waking consciousness with the magnificence of dreams, for these realms are both part of our human experience. Not separated. Not a waking reality in which you as a person have to find meaning through what you do and own, to cure the feeling of illusory disconnection. To then label the nightly dream realm as nonsensical and most certainly not real, while being immersed in the magnificence potential of the imaginal, not aware of anything that could be called you.
It seems that if we open up to endless possibilities, endless possibilities will be given. And in imagination, anything is possible.
But what about the old enemy named desire then? Well, it's here and stronger than ever. To let the imaginal show all the delicious and sensual things I could do in the world and with other people is extraordinary and more lovingly than before. But as these realms have merged, thus now both feel real in a sense, the imaginal act just as much pervades my being with satisfaction. So that "real" action is not needed to fulfill the feeling of wanting. The act is played out, fulfilled, in imagination but actually felt in the physical body.
The feeling of desire I refer to here is not an egoic desire though, which I would define by all wanting that has the goal of enforcing the felt sense of being a seperate person. What I refer to is what I would call essential desire, which I define as a wanting because it defines who you, without an inch of doubt, are meant to be in this world. Arising from you're unique essence, so to speak.
Which is me inviting you to imagine your deepest desires, no matter how dark and not-normal they are, for clearly they are what define you. To let them pervade your being, allowing them to fulfill in the felt experience of your body. To then go out in the world and let your imagination play wherever you go. Mixing waking reality with the imaginal, infusing the simplest physical touch with the sacredness of the divine. To experience the best of both worlds, merging with each other to become one.
That, and perhaps only that, is the reason why hiding out in the imaginal with closed eyes is not the purpose. At least not mine.
The purpose of being here is to remember the sacred most of us so diligently seek. To celebrate the magic of life, real or unreal, hard or easy. To dive deep in the suppressed shadows of your being, looking for desires that surely were not allowed until now but define you in ways you couldn't have imagined. All of it, for all is part of it. It doesn't really matter in the end, for we are all carried. The question is whether you have the courage to let yourself fall.