Often, when I meet people in search of guidance for the first time, they ask for specific instructions on what to do in terms of meditation practice. The truth is, I don´t know and I hopefully also do not pretend to know. And yet, there are many who fall for the Guru-trap, giving up their own intuitive flame for the advice of another person.
The guru role is old and human. We narrators like a sage to look up to, preferably one who has the looks and charisma of Santa Claus. We need somebody we can completely trust. Somebody who tells you what to do and how to do it to reach a preconceived idea created by the mind, often called awakening, enlightenment, ascension or another word depending on the tradition you’re following. We need books to compare our own truth with that of others. And if they don't match, we should work harder to eventually understand what the often popular writer tries to convey.
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You could share a quote transmitted through you from great wisdom with hundreds of people, but they would most probably not be impressed with it. The exact same quote coming from the mouth of an already popular spiritual Guru however, would lead to an eruption of praise and acts as confirmation of what the mind has been telling you for so long: That person truly knows something you don’t. Which is obviously reflected by their great wisdom and charisma. And by their 100K followers at minimum, duh. A friend of mine mentioned a youtuber a while back, advising me to follow him because he is very awake. Which confused me. “What does it mean to be very awake?” My mind asked itself while reflecting back on the days it could still believe in these narratives.
Guru’s often have a very unique combination of characteristics that make them intriguing. Especially when they only mention the Good, like unfortunately many do. Mentioning the truth, for example that peace is found in the dark depths of the underworld and that it's not something “you” can “attain” by practicing, is simply not what we want to hear. That is why many suppress their true humanity full of deep and dark emotions. Showing negative emotions in Western Spirituality is certainly not allowed. It’s about feeling GOOD, all the time. It’s about YOU, all the time. About great powers and great knowledge, about showing that you truly are uniquely connected to the divine. The mistake our minds make here is that high popularity must indicate a high degree of wisdom, which is a bit of a double illusion. One being that there actually is a correlation between those 2 concepts. And the other being that wisdom is a natural characteristic of an awakened one, whatever that means.
During my life I have had multiple teachers. But only one of them has always been my true Guru: Intuition. That incredible silent guiding force always knowing what the next step is before you do. It led me to a great variety of traditions, books and Guru’s. And it led me away from those when the time had come to pass along. It led me to confronting the demons in the dark, both personal and collective. And it led me to hug these demons to dust. I did not need a Guru during these times. I needed friends. Friends who let the process work, always reminding me that this will pass too. That this too I would survive. I'm not sure if I did, but surely something has to write this piece.
Guru's can be immensely powerful as catalysts to crush your current perspective. To break through the illusion of a separate you. But a true Guru knows even his own Guru-ness is a facade. A coat embraced by the little self, taking up a role necessary to book results. Hopefully always knowing it is not what they truly are. That it's just them playing Gandalf the White Wizard while fully aware that all of it is just a divine play. Just like Carl Jung did, the inventor of depth psychology, who went through a tremendous spiritual crisis* to then take up the role as scientist because he knew that the only way to heal the separation disease is by playing by the rules the game has set. And in the game of our time, science is by far the strongest rulemaker. But even while acting the scientist role, he knew that whatever he conveyed was going to be interpreted in a different light. And that is, unfortunately, human tendency: To listen to another person’s teachings and believing the words to be true, instead of diving in the depths and experiencing the source through which the words came to being. The curse is that Carl Jung knew his words weren’t true, it was just the only way to point people in the direction of the depths of their psyche. To then do the work themselves.
Whereas our minds convince us that a Guru should know more than you do, it might well be the opposite. Perhaps the Guru knows that truth can’t be known. And therefore stops trying to control something that is beyond themselves. Or like Jiddu Krishnamurti replied when asked what his secret was:
“ I don’t mind what happens” - Jiddu Krishnamurti
Which is the opposite mentality of many spiritual practitioners. The mind makes you believe there are good and bad meditations. Powerful techniques and stupid techniques. Traditions that lead you to the true truth and traditions that because of that have to be fraudulent. The problem is never the technique, the Guru, or the tradition, the problem is believing the mind. Seeing it as a resemblance of what you are, which is, to use a nice Buddhist term, wrong view. Seeing through beliefs and opinions is scary, because it seemingly defines who you are. That is perhaps why many people rather let others tell them what to do. It is less frightening to give control over to a Guru or tradition than to truly ask your heart what you need right now. And the heart knows. It always knows. The heart knows that you need to remember who and what you are, so when listened to, it steers you there. Sometimes dark, sometimes light, but all of it part of your unique way of remembering the source of your being. The source might be universal, but your way of experiencing it will be uniquely yours.
Because you are, truly, a unique person. Impeccable and perfect through God’s eyes. The question is however, whether you are going to listen to your own inner Guru or take my or anybody’s words for granted? The first leading you to realizing the love of yourself, the second to realizing you will never be enough. Please, don’t be a believer, only experience is to be believed. And only you can experience your personal truth.
May your inner Guru guide the way,
Pim
*See the Red Book